8 Predictions for 2011 in the World of Tech

1. Apple will release it's magical and revolutionary devices iPad 2, iPhone 5. New features include :-

a) Doing your laundry.

b) Taking your dog out for a walk.

c) Making iPhone 4 and iPad 1 users feel like a bunch of twats.

Every tech journalist on earth will declare the move as "game changing" and "bold" like they always do. Be prepared to read a lot of iPaahd vs myPaahd kind of news and reviews.

2. About 23,55,354 vendors will launch products having Android, out of those only 50 will work.

3. The year is going to be a 3D one. 3D TV's, 3D games, 3D phones will take the market with storm. On one hand, the "Sheela" on a 3D TV will appear a lot hotter, but on the other Stupid India TV’s breaking news will look even more moronic.

4. Microsoft will add the functionality to copy paste the text in Windows Phone 7 and then they'll call it Windows Phone 8. None of the news agency will notice this move, cause who cares for windows phone anyway.

5. Nokia will shuffle from it’s age old Symbian to Meego OS and then back to Symbian, finally admitting that both of there Operating Systems are shit and they are moving on to Android.

6. Facebook will launch it’s short messaging service which will rival the likes of Gmail and Yahoo mail . Facebook says, it’ll remove the barriers to the Email communication by removing the subject box and other unnecessary stuff. Seeing that today’s youth can’t even write a Email in proper format and PrPer SpLlng, it’ll be a one step forward to dumbing them even more.

7.  MNP will make the Mobile Operators running like mad dogs pissing all over the place to maintain there share in the market.  Airtel is already delivering pizzas and cold drinks to the customers who are not happy with there service. People are calling Airtel helpline instead of Dominoes or pizza hut for ordering pizzas.

8.  Microsoft will disclose that they have activated around a million windows 7 handsets, 999,800 of them by one S. Ballmer living in Redmond, Washington.