Monday, January 31, 2011

8 Predictions for 2011 in the World of Tech

1. Apple will release it's magical and revolutionary devices iPad 2, iPhone 5. New features include :-
a) Doing your laundry.
b) Taking your dog out for a walk.
c) Making iPhone 4 and iPad 1 users feel like a bunch of twats.
Every tech journalist on earth will declare the move as "game changing" and "bold" like they always do. Be prepared to read a lot of iPaahd vs myPaahd kind of news and reviews.

2. About 23,55,354 vendors will launch products having Android, out of those only 50 will work.

3. The year is going to be a 3D one. 3D TV's, 3D games, 3D phones will take the market with storm. On one hand, the "Sheela" on a 3D TV will appear a lot hotter, but on the other Stupid India TV’s breaking news will look even more moronic.

4. Microsoft will add the functionality to copy paste the text in Windows Phone 7 and then they'll call it Windows Phone 8. None of the news agency will notice this move, cause who cares for windows phone anyway.

5. Nokia will shuffle from it’s age old Symbian to Meego OS and then back to Symbian, finally admitting that both of there Operating Systems are shit and they are moving on to Android.

6. Facebook will launch it’s short messaging service which will rival the likes of Gmail and Yahoo mail . Facebook says, it’ll remove the barriers to the Email communication by removing the subject box and other unnecessary stuff. Seeing that today’s youth can’t even write a Email in proper format and PrPer SpLlng, it’ll be a one step forward to dumbing them even more.

7.  MNP will make the Mobile Operators running like mad dogs pissing all over the place to maintain there share in the market.  Airtel is already delivering pizzas and cold drinks to the customers who are not happy with there service. People are calling Airtel helpline instead of Dominoes or pizza hut for ordering pizzas.

8.  Microsoft will disclose that they have activated around a million windows 7 handsets, 999,800 of them by one S. Ballmer living in Redmond, Washington.

Friday, January 14, 2011

10 Things I Learned in KIIT.

1. Ten minutes is more than enough time to get ready for your first class.

2. Professors without notes (chutkas) are like cars without engine, useless.

3. Every seminar, workshop, society or fest sounds huge until you attend it, then you realize that the so called "Grand Event" is not so Grand.

4. 1 day before mid sem and 4 days before end sem are enough to prepare you for the syllabus which was being taught for last 5 months.

5. Demonstrators in the labs are like programmable androids, never ask them anything other than what has been programmed or they will produce a debugging error.

6. In case there's a holiday, the notice for it will arrive at your hostel 15 mins before class timings.

7. Semester time table changes more often than you change your clothes.

8. Everything you learned in the previous semester gets evaporated from your mind like a cat pissing on a hot tin roof.

9. You realize you are getting a bad education when even after 2 years of studying, you fail to repair a tube light or a bulb.

10. No matter how many books college provides you at the start of the semester, in the end it always goes down to xeroxs, chutkas and torn pages from the books of library.

Add some more if you like :)